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What is exactly the definition of a winterdepression? Not that I think that I'm having one, but I find myself having moodswings these past few weeks. Maybe my female side is feeling bad ;)
I'm happy I have a job
I'm disappointed that it doesn't pay that great
I'm grateful I have a home
I'm not happy that it's in an industrial area, surrounded by factories
I'm glad I'm healthy
I'm really glad I've lost 6 kilograms of weight so far
I'm bothered that I don't seem to be losing any more of it
I'm sad, cos I don't have a partner (especially in these dark and cold days)
I'm scared for my future with all these layoffs going on around me
I'm angry with some of the choices I've made in the past
I'm jealous of old classmates that are already running entire hotels while I'm still stuck below middle-management

December is the time for reflection and planning a course of action for the new year. With so many options and so little known about the outcome, I'm afraid to take any action. 26 years old, single, living in an industrial park, doing a job below my capabilities (even though I like it). This is not what I had in mind when I was still at Hotel Management School.


( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 11th, 2003 01:22 am (UTC)
First of all *hug*
Secondly: you're already contemplating your "achievements" by the age of 26? o_o Sure, I even know minors asking themselves similar questions, but even at your age you shouldn't be thinking about such things. And thus I try to advise them the same thing as I'll do now: only focus upon how you can make things better, for yourself and others, so that later (way later) in life you can look back upon it as a whole and smile.

*hug* You still have a long way to go, ups and hopefully little downs. Even if there was but one thing you feel proud of in the past year, in my eyes it already is a year well spent. ^_~ And hopefully you had many chuckles every single day. And many more to come!

I'm just trying to sound reasonable, heck I myself am still but 20! ^_~
Dec. 11th, 2003 02:09 am (UTC)
Heh, 20 years old, you little pipsqueak! ;)

I know I'm still along the way, and that I shouldn't dwell on the past too much. But nevertheless, it hurts a little inside when you know you could've been further than you are right now. Ever since I finished the Hotelschool, I've had jobs that are all on the same level. In normal circumstances, when you climb the 'career-ladder', you go up with every step. All I have managed so far are sidesteps. The positive thing is that I now have experience in a wide range of fields. But if you try to apply for a job, it's usually the guy with 4 years specific experience that gets it, not the guy who knows a bit of everything.
Dec. 11th, 2003 03:25 am (UTC)
Strangely enough I know what you mean by that. ;) But apparently, on a positive note, you seem to know what you have to do, nah? Specialize yourself. Make sure you develop and promote your best traits.
That is, if you deem it so important to "climb up that ladder". :) But that's a personal preference.

And who're you calling a "pipsqueak"? Not to mention "little", though that is kind of true... :D
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )


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