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Spam

My personally programmed spam filter in Outlook works pretty good. Catches all the Viagra, pr0n, insurances, debts, credit cards, loans and other junkemails so far. I'm used to all of that shit.

But if I get ONE MORE email from NIGERIA, ZAMBIA or UGANDA from a former president, military leader or any of their relatives asking me if I can help them get 20 to 30 mil US$ out of the country by giving them my bank details, I will MANUALLY rip out their tongue by first inserting my entire arm into their rectum and working my way up through their internal organs.

This has got to be the most annoying spam/scam I've encountered so far. At least twice a day for several weeks now.....

Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
(Anonymous)
Jan. 12th, 2004 09:26 am (UTC)
Confidential!
Greetings sir/madame,

Please allow me to introduce myself, I am the former president of the Republic of Serbia's right hand Ynnad Cipal. And because of my former boss and bed buddy is currently in the Hague mocking the international Yougoslavian trubinal I have to make sure that his funding, in the form of 250,000,000 penis enlargment pumps has to be stored somewhere. Unfortunately the Dutch banks do not accept our currency, or penis pumps, so we would make you a deal. You pick up the penis pumps, which are unmarked, stored in descrete brown trucks standing in Katwijk downtown. You pick up all 250 of them without distracting the police. Think about it, the profit will be enourmous. And if not for all else, feel free to use the penis pumps, because you will get a free pump for every truck delivered.

We will ensure that no one will know that you are involved in this top secret project.

(for your convinience, we will park the 250 brown trucks on the market square in Katwijk (in front of the church), marked with bright neon signs with your name on it so you won't miss them. If you fail to locate them, you will find out that we programmed the radio's of the trucks to play 'Satan is coming to town' at sunday noon on speakers mounted on the cabin, so it will be easy for you to locate them).
rob_d
Jan. 12th, 2004 10:21 am (UTC)
Re: Confidential!
OK, someone's going to pay for this. I just snorted water over my keyboard.
coen
Jan. 14th, 2004 07:45 am (UTC)
I don't know what you're complaining about. Those business offers are great. I do it all the time.
I can get 20 million dollar on my acount for each time I join. So far, I haven't recieved anything. But I don't care, I am happy because I know I will be rich in the end.
So far I paid thousands of dollars because there were some slight problems with tax bills and customs etc. But these problems will be resolved in the end.
I am a little worried because these slight little problems seem to keep on popping up, and everytime they pop up I have to pay more money, but I have faith that it will all be well in the end.

Seriously, there are people who actually fall for this scam. It's been played a thousand times, and still people are falling for it. That is because people are greedy. And if someone mentions the words "20 million" to them, they stop thinking.
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )

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