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Aging

The weekend started off so well, getting a haircut, buying a present, driving to Maastricht, taking a stroll through the city center, going to a friend's housewarming party, seeing a whole bunch of old friends again, so far so good. It was a nice day, even though my cat allergy kicked in when I went to bed.

Today was .... troubling, I think is the best word. I visited my grandparents (mother's side. My other grandparents have passed away) and was once again confronted with their frailty. They're ... 86 and 87 years old if I remember correctly, a very respectable age, I know. Still, it makes you feel uneasy to see them grow weaker every time you visit them. The willpower is gone. They just live day by day, rummaging around the house until it's time to go back to bed. Nothing seems to matter to them anymore, except the kids and grandkids. In a few months they might be celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary. Grandma would like a party, but not granddad. In his depressive-realistic way of thinking, he argues that almost all of their friends have already left this world, so there's no one left to help them 'celebrate'. Even the idea of a brunch with the whole family just makes him grumpy. I don't understand him. On one hand I can understand that he's tired, has 'seen it all' and wouldn't mind dying peacefully in his sleep tonight. But while he's still here, why doesn't he make the most of it and spend time with his family for as long as it's still possible? But that's grandpa for ya. Always been a glass half-empty type. And grandma just rolls her eyes, shakes her head and stays quiet to preserve the peace.

My parents were there as well. Mom's (57) going in for surgery in april, getting her tearduct fixed and moisture/fluid removed from a place in her head that's supposed to be clean and dry. It's gonna be another invasive and energydraining procedure for her.... While she stayed with her parents, dad (58) and I drove to my uncle's place. On the way there, he told me that he noticed he's getting forgetful and that he's scared about it. He's making little mistakes at work, forgetting the meaning of certain abbreviations, mixing them up. So of course he's thinking he's starting to get Alzheimer's. And if all that wasn't enough, doctors discovered growths inside my uncle's partner (51). She's getting the results from the biopsy tomorrow. Might be benign, might be malign. Might be cancer. I pray to whomever's listening up there that that's not the case.

Needless to say all these things are running through my head. Too much scary news at once. Even for me. It's never fun to hear that someone is ill, but when it hits close to home, it's especially hard.

Comments

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
lasttowin
Mar. 2nd, 2008 09:43 pm (UTC)
We all age differently.......
With what health is dealt to us, to what life as dealt to make
our attitudes differ.
Think it was Desmond Morris who said something to the effect that
you take a spouse, raise offspring till out on their own. After
that by the rules of nature, you are just on borrowed time.
As for me, if I wake-up in the morning....good day. If I wake up with
morning wood.....better day. (which is most)
damanique
Mar. 2nd, 2008 10:23 pm (UTC)
*hugs you tight* Those are a lot of things going on at once. I hope that everything works out all right for everyone...
wickedoll
Mar. 2nd, 2008 11:53 pm (UTC)
When we see the mortality of all our loved ones around us, we begin to question our own morality. It was the same with me. My aunt suffered horribly with breast cancer, the disease spreading through her chest and finally her brain until it killed her. When my mom was diagnosed, I was slapped in the face that she could die. And it hurt alot. A couple of school friends died, and I was faced with the fact that even the good die young.
As for your father, he should get tested for it. It was too late for my own grandfather, who near the end called me by his dead wife's name constantly. There is medication now that could help. And even if its not alzheimer's, it could be something as simple as taking a pill everyday to help him.
If your grandmother wants a party, have one. Maybe your grandfather deep down wants one but just doesnt want to admit it. And remember you have so many friends and loved ones to help you when you need a shoulder.
jonesybunny
Mar. 3rd, 2008 12:08 am (UTC)
That explains why you went to your room so quickly on sundaynight. If you need to talk about it tomorrow, I'll be there. It's the least I can do for you.
caniche
Mar. 3rd, 2008 11:26 am (UTC)
Meh, lots of bad news indeed :( *sends good vibes your way*
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )